Still missing you and feels like losing you

I am tired of being someone else that i don't
Pretending that i am fine but i am not
Pretending that everything is alright ,but it is not
I just want to end it up. But it feels like a thousand miles to go
I really hate to end it up
So i don't do it. And pretending that everything is just fine
I'm lying to my self
Lying for our goods
It is always good to lying for better than lying for nothing
I'm just trying to keep it. And to keep you
I ever wrote,
I am moving on , but you stop and look back
You've change my mind, let me move on
I wish that we could move on together, forget about the past
And make a better future, not for marriage that we never thought
Just better condition for us
I miss you, you that was able to move on with me
You that able to talk to me as my friend too
I don't know what the heck is wrong with you
But I don't know why am i with you
And I am so missing you.
I am trying so hard to get you back
And i don't know where are you right now.
You are not with me,
I don't know whether you're with your job, with your lovely friends
Or maybe still with her
I don't know where you are
If you don't wanna moving on with me,
Let just end it up
You just cannot messed me up along this time
I'm tired
You may think i'm really over that wrote this long bullshit
But this is not bullshit
I just want you to read
And to know what is in my mind
Because you don't even wanna hear me
Don't want to talk to me
Or just see me

I miss the old you
I miss how happy i was with you